15 Apr 2017
Jo left me hanging on a Saturday. I kept asking him what time are we going to meet but he couldnt give me an exact timing. I thought we would at least have dinner together but 8pm, he texted me that he was heading out to grab Mac. How about my dinner? -.- I got super unhappy because I waited whole day and it seemed like his intention was only to come my place to sleep.
He said he couldnt understand why am I so mad. & he don’t understand why am I so clingy these days. I wasn’t mad at him ditching me for dinner. I was mad at him leaving me hanging. If he knew he couldnt meet me or his intention was all along to meet me only late at night, the least he could do was to inform me beforehand. Not making me just wait endlessly.
I cried super badly over frustration. I was hoping the least he could do is still appear at my place to cheer me up. NOPE! He decided to head to bed. I got even more frustrated. & it was useless for him to tell me not to listen to Urban Zakapa’s song. Meaning, he knew that I was listening to emo songs, crying my heart out.. Yet he chose to stay at home. I literally cried myself to sleep & honestly, i was in so much pain. I texted him that this isnt working out. I am super tired of having to cry myself to sleep.
16 Apr 2017
My eyes were swollen from all the crying. I couldnt open my eyes when I wake up. I checked my phone only to be disappointed. There wasnt any replies from him so I supposed he had super good sleep. -.- I dragged S to Pet Expo again since it is the last day. We dressed Beats up and headed over. Thankfully, we managed to get some freebies today since we were earlier.
I am not a huge fan of cats but we saw 2 cats that were really adorable! They looked just like plushies! They just chilled there and didn’t move much! Beats were quite well-liked too. Many people were patting them and mistaking they are Shiba. LOL! We walked past a stall with can food samples & they actually ate everything that were displayed. -.- LOL! At least they helped us to fulfill the main purpose of going to Pet Expo. :p My total damage was $300+. o.O Hopefully the supplies can last for a while!
I told Jo to do whatever he thinks is right because I am too pain to feel anything at this point. He replied that it seemed like each time when he meant good, it just made things worst. He didnt look for me at night because of me saying that he only wants to meet me to sleep (which wasnt true). I actually said that out of anger. -.-” After about 30minutes once I got home, he appeared in front of me. I tried to treat him coldly because I couldn’t forgive how much pain he gave me. We tried to be normal in front of S. Eventually, we went up to the room to talk things out. I told him that he should know me by now, especially when he got 3 sisters.. the more he should understand women. When a girl says no, it means yes. So when I asked you not to come, it means you better get your ass to me. By then, I cooled down and just want to reconciled. He said women are mysterious creatures, too difficult to understand. ;/
I told him that I was in sooo much pain and yet he chose to leave me alone. He just apologized. I told him not to do this again, but I am not sure if he’ll listen. I dont know if I can take another round of such things.
He noticed something interesting on his phone. you know how iphone usually will show you suggestions of words? His showed “honey, very very, sorry” haha! It means he typed these words too much.
We sent Suarez home and went back to his place to get his office wear for tomorrow. I received a message from Alice’s owner that Alice is really sick, the same as before. This will be her third time with us. The first time was perfect. The second time when she came, she went home with dehydration and diarrhoea. This time round (the third time), she went home shaking and shivering, vomitting and diarrhoea. I had no idea what went wrong because she was completely fine here. Usually if there is anything out of the ordinary, we will inform the owners right away. T.T I got too stressful. Jo said that he noticed each time when I get stressed, my face will be very serious. lol. I’m trying to change my bad habit of getting moody whenever I’m stressed. I smiled to him and said I’m okay.
We went to the meesua store near my place for dinner. We actually ate dinner earlier on with my tenants at our balcony but honestly, the dishes went to my liking. It was too spicy and bitter. haha! But it is my first time actually enjoying the balcony. The view there is amazing. One day, hopefully I can beautify that area. haha.
To destress, I asked Jo to play swing with me at the park connector. He was too huge for the swing. haha! He asked me to learn to clear my mind while enjoying the swing. But I couldn’t. I had too much things on my mind. But I enjoyed myself. 🙂 I’ve no idea when was the last time I did this. It brings so much childhood memory at the children park. We were even playing see-saw and I laughed at Jo for his strength. I can imagine him disturbing other kids when he was younger. lol!
Looking at Jo, I realised he is taking over my heart more than I expected. And I’m worried, worried that he will leave me some day. He have bought his tickets for Korea and I am waiting to plan when I should go over. I am excited yet worried that I may be a burden. He hasn’t gone back for 1.5 years.. & seeing that he is so excited and anxious at the same time, I realised he is actually very tough being here. Yet the thought of me heading over seems so difficult. We have many obstacles in front of us & I really hope we can last.