Trouble sleeping

As you get older, you stopped confiding into people about your problems. I rather keep them all to myself, that’s why I decided to keep an online diary again. I’m not going to lie but sitting in my room at 1:30am, I can’t help but feel horrible. I can’t sleep…

I’m starting to have second thoughts about Korea because I honestly have no concrete plans. My main purpose is just wanting to accompany him. Sadly, we’re not on the same page. I wanted to go to the countryside but he said it’s too dangerous for a lady. I’ve been in Seoul countless times and I seriously do not wish to waste my time there. When he said he will reshuffle his schedule, I thought he will bring me to his city to keep me close by. NOPE! When I asked “Can’t I just follow you to your city?” A stern NO. His reason was that his city is too boring. :/ It suddenly dawned on me that he had no plans of bringing me home at all. I realised because he only intended for me to stay in his city for A NIGHT and he’s going to kick me back to Seoul. Lets say he really craves for alone time since he has not seen his family and friends for 1 year +, can’t he just feel grateful that I am agreeing to go all the way there just to ‘standby’ for him? I even don’t mind to just hibernating in the hotel and meet him whenever he is free.. Even if it’s just a short 30 minutes. To be honest, whatever is the true reason… it hurts. I thought I will actually be formally introduced to the family, even stressing about table manners, their culture and what am I supposed to wear. :/

Back to the post about Who Should Pay, in there I mentioned about you should be the one paying if you have a higher earning. But you should know when to do your part. If your girlfriend offers to go to your hometown with you, the least you could do is sort out her lodging right? NOPE! He’s leaving me stranded. I may sound materialistic now. I’m not being mean and saying that my boyfriend is poor, but…. (not sure if anyone gets what I’m trying to say here)

You may be laughing at me but I really do not understand why one moment he can let me feel like he is that perfect guy but the next moment he just… went cold. I don’t know if he’s acting blur or just simply don’t know. I am browsing through pages and pages of hotels and airbnb rooms all by myself. It’s the stubborn me that got myself into this shit. /sigh. He has not even booked a single hotel for us, even those that we discussed when we meet later on.

From what it is now, we will arrive in Incheon Airport at 7am and from there, we will go our separate ways. He will chiong back to his hometown and I will need to proceed my way down to a hotel to crash. I’ve no idea who is going to help me with my huge luggage and certain stations doesn’t have lift. so… GOOD LUCK TO ME!

I’m going to just put the choices out here. I’m a little particular with the interior designs, because I can never stay in such place unless I am travelling lol. As my family members always joke, my house IS a dogs’ nest.

  1. Rooftop Place – I super love the rooftop but the beds are bunk beds. I don’t know if I’ll be comfortable staying with other strangers.
  2. Place with Deck – This looks not too bad either. But the fact that it is at level 3, I would probably die carrying my luggage up. T.T
  3. K-House 1 – I don’t know why but it seems too good to be true. -.- But it seems like an alright place. still, sound a little stupid that I am occupying a house big enough for 6 people

Or, I can go to traditional village first! RKJ – seems like there can be a lot of activities here.

Or, boutique hotels

1. Nagne – another traditional feel that has a lovely garden! Can just do some stargazing from my room.

2. Hotel Loft – this look modern enough for me to enjoy a night!

3. Designer Hotels – ok, this just look too amazing that I got to add it into the list lol. & it’s cheap! I wouldn’t mind staying in their suite all alone!

really really hate to do this alone.


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