Whoever set the rule that it should be norm for guys to pay for girls? It is misleading the society, causing confusion and different standards between the two genders.
When I was dating a scumbag when I was 16/17, I used to say “Getting into a relationship is a waste of money”. That time, people will say things like “You’re a girl leh, why you say such things?” I was the one contributing at that time, fully paying everything. Worst, i wasn’t working at all so it was purely based on my allowances and savings.
It isn’t the same with Jo but I’m not being pampered like any other girls (well, I no longer am). I reminded Dad about my Bali trip to celebrate Jo’s birthday. His first question was “who paid?”. I lied that we’re going on dutch but in fact, it is a fully paid trip by me. Yet his response was “what kind of guy is he?” -.-
I think I unknowningly created a fake image of Jo.. that he is rich when he isn’t and he is the super sweet one for all of our dates. My dad thought that Jo did his boyfriend part by paying for ALL my accomodation in Korea, but he only paid for the 3 days (out of 11 days) when we were together. I’ve been paying for all of our expensive dates and staycation. Whenever my wallet is with him, for most of the times, he will naturally pull out my wallet instead of his to pay the bill. Frankly speaking, if my dad/family knows about all this… he ain’t gona be happy. My bro didn’t believe in Jo because Jo is a foreigner. He actually said “my sister will probably be the one paying for most stuff. But as long as she’s happy”.
I tried testing Jo about his past relationships. Out of 3, he went on dutch for the first 2 and the last one, the girl kept saying she got no money so he paid for most. So…… is it because he thinks that I’m rich so I’m paying the most? I’m not going to lie and say that I’m completely fine because this issue get to me sometimes. I’m worried it might be an issue between us in the future. For instances, I’ve helped to buy things for him through qoo10 a few times. They don’t cost much but each time he will say that he will pay me back, he’ll somehow forget. I really don’t mind but will I start picking on this in the future?
I’m not going to lie, yes.. I do miss being fully taken care of. I miss really depending on someone, not just emotionally. I miss being able to go out without my wallet, knowing that I’m being fully covered. But I love Jo.. I really do. I just.. I dont know. I just don’t want my relationship to look as though I’m making him look bad? I don’t know if that’s the right thing to say. I don’t want any unfair treatment. I’m not looking for someone rich so I feel like an asshole to even occasionally think that whatever I’m doing (putting in much more money into the relationship than he is) isn’t right. I just.. dont want this to be a matter that come between us in near future.
All I want is to find someone who love me as much as I love him and someone who I can happily spend my whole life with him, with no worries.
PS: This post might be sparked by the fact that I’m struggling to support myself, my relationship and my family’s expenses.
till next time