His Jealousy That Hurts

So his jealousy hurt me a lot on Sunday night. Simply because of jealousy, he decided to treat me as though i was nothing to him. We met to eat Bak Ku Teh at Songfa but he suddenly just changed his mind and refused to have dinner with me. His exact words “Even if you’re free, I don’t want to have dinner with you”. -.-” I did nothing wrong, at all. I felt humiliated and hurt because just seconds ago, I ran up to him happily with a surprise back hug. Sensing that I werent happy over his pettiness, he still walked away from me and left me there.

at that point, I couldnt understand the situation. I couldnt figure out who was i to him? No girlfriend deserved to be treated this way, especially when I wasn’t even cheating on him (i wasn’t even close to flirting to that friend of mine). I told him that if he still wants to be together, let’s meet at my house. He took the train and I was driving home. I’m someone who cannot drive with unhappiness, i will go crazy. lol. I sped all the way home and as expected, he wasn’t there.

One of my tenants were heading back to France so I offered to send them to the airport. Again, I sped all the way to and fro. Still, he wasn’t there. So.. figure my disappointment. By the time I can relax from all the chores, it was already 9pm. My head was pounding and it got even worst after showers. Yet I got to gather all my energy to argue with my boyfriend.

To summarize, both of us were doubting about the love we have for each other. He thinks that I’ll always have some unhappiness towards him. Honestly, I did compare him with my ex on several aspects. I didn’t need to spend so much money in my previous relationship at all. I was in good hands. When I mentioned this to him, it just made him even more upset. He thinks that I’m being materialistic if I am indicating that how much money spent equals to the effort one put in a relationship. Perhaps I am getting the money issue too much into my head but I didn’t let it come between us (yet). I seriously put in a lot of effort. Bringing him to places might be because I feel there’s a need to pamper myself as he always not bringing me to places.. the least he could do is maybe offer to pay half.. which he never did so without being poked.

Each time we (my ex & i) quarrel, I’ll get consoled each time i cry.. he definitely wont just turn cold-blooded on me. But for Jo, it was as though I was some girl he picked up on the streets.Whenever he gets upset over anything related to me, he seems to forget who exactly am I to him. That is what really frustrates me. I’m someone who really just wants a happy relationship, someone who really pampers me (yes, i’m those annoying girls that thinks that she should be a ‘princess’ in the relationship).

If i am really unhappy in my relationship, I would have walked away.. rather than putting myself in so much pain. Just by staying by his side for this long, isn’t it obvious that I want to be with him? I seriously put in a lot of effort and I’m not talking about throwing money in. Money can always be earned back.. I’m talking about.. changing my whole attitude towards relationship. Not once did I show him my princess attitude, not once did I neglect his feelings or push him away and I’ve always been putting him as priority. Each time I cried so badly out of loneliness  (especially when i was in Korea), not once did I complain to him because I didn’t want him to feel bad. I offered to go all the way to Peninsula Shopping Centre just to accompany him home. There are many more things that I can talk about.. but main thing is I seriously put in hell lot of efforts. If he isn’t feeling in, I really don’t know what else am I supposed to do. :/

Whenever Jo is perfect, he is a dream come true. But whenever he gets upset, he is seriously like the devil. It is as severe as though he has some split personality. All I wish for, is him to pamper me always. Whenever I cry, just give in to me and hug me tightly. Am I asking too much? It hurts me so much that even when I asked him to look for me, he replied “if you want to meet, you come to meet me”. Why does it feels like I needed to beg him to meet me?… when he was the one that walked away from me.

With my pounding head, I cried myself to sleep. I’m not sure why I felt nauseated that I puked a little of my dinner out. I had the same dream again for the third consecutive time but I can’t exactly remember what scene was it. I wasn’t in a good state and yet, where was my boyfriend? 

~12:45a.m, I woke up with a familar figure in my room.. sitting next by my bed. It may sound creepy but it felt more like a sweet blurry dream. There he was, feeling apologetic. I can’t exactly remember why did I wake up but I was pleased to see him. My head was still pounding and I had no energy at all. Yet, I still forced myself to crawl up to get sleeping attire for him to change and sleep. I tried to hide my illness but I ended up telling him because i was seriously feeling horrible. Massaging my head, he hugged me and apologized for being unreasonable. He wasn’t sure what got into him. I told him that if we’re really going to be together, please never ever hurt me again like that. I don’t feel deserved to be treated like that. I can’t be any more grateful for him to come all the way to make things up in the middle of the night.

Monday was hell busy with my parents out of town. I have been driving whole day and I must say, I’m real good with driving now. lol. I know it’s dangerous but I always got the tendency to drive at 90-100km/h on highways. This is seriously a huge improvement from not having the courage to drive at all.

My driving started from the moment I woke up.

  • dabao food for my dad’s office
  • bring a dog to the vet to get her wound restitched. & her vet was all the way in Clementi (near SIM)
  • Go Chai Chee to do collection
  • Drive to Singpost to do posting of mails
  • Head back home to welcome a dog & prepare things for courier delivery
  • Drive to Katong i12 to bring princess to have her Yong Tau Fu.
  • Drive to Peninsula Plaza to pick Jo up.
  • Drive home to drop Princess off and continue back to Katong for his BKT.
  • Drive back to his home after dinner
  • & finally drive myself back home

I’m amazed with myself that despite me feeling unwell, I was able to survive and complete everything. lol. We met Maisy’s owner after 8 months and I was so happy to know that Maisy will return to SG real soon! πŸ˜‰

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look who’s happy with his new bed~~~~~ πŸ˜‰

Because Jo was craving to eat BKT last night and he didn’t manage to eat due to his pettiness, I thought I just bring him to eat. but wlaooooo, both BKT stores that I know of doesn’t open on Mondays (which I wasn’t aware of) 😦 We ended up settling dinner at some coffee shop. Back at his place, I realised that my panties was stained with a little blood. -.-” Thankfully I kept some extras over at his place (because this happened before and I went into panic mode). I still can’t believe I found someone that wouldn’t mind washing my blood-stained panties for me. lol. Moreover, he just snatched it off my hands and ran to the toilet to get it washed.

I went back home at around 12:30am, only to find myself stuck with no parking available in front of my house. -.-” I got to ask the neighbours to move their cars so that I could park mine. I was then randomly offered a piece of fruit cake. haha.

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I entered my room, to find Lily actually created a huge mess for me (she took out my clothes from the box). -.- She’s too cute to be mad at. Actually.. come to think about it, she reminds me of my Pushok.

T.T I’ve been waiting to be reunited with him since 2 years ago. 😦

that’s all, folks!

xoxo

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