I only fell asleep ~4a.m last night, only to be woken up at 7am about one of my dad’s promoter unable to board the plane. Spent 1 hour arguing with the airline to no avail.. We ended up having to spend extra $300 to change the ticket.
I’ve not seen Jo for 3 days now and obviously, I’m missing him like mad. It feels as though I’ve not updated him about many things. Truth is, he’s kinda turning into my ex… who gets exhausted very easily. He tends to fall asleep once he reaches home and it doesn’t make things better when we don’t text much during the day. I really don’t hate him but I’m worried that it might have some negative effect in our relationship. The last thing I want is this relationship to have the same outcome as the last.
Randomly reading an article on TNP, it’s about Allan Wu & Daniel Ong being successful in their career and love. One similarity – both are divorced, dating women who are way younger than them (~11 years age differences). Coincidentally, the next article below it was about Pineapple-Pen guy married a Japanese model who is 15 years younger. So here goes my question: What’s with guys and younger girls? I deliberately use girls other than women because of the huge age gap. In this case, more than 10 years are considered too huge of a gap for me. You can see this scenario in many movies.. whereby a matured man going for sexy young girls.
I asked Long Legs this question. His reply was “if man are judged by their talent and wealth, woman are judged by their beauty and age”. “woman always like those older matured man cos it symbolized as stability”. So am i supposed to be dating someone who is old enough to be my dad? I know they keep saying age doesn’t matters but…. true love really have some correlation with wealth? If it really work this way, I seriously dont like it.
Long Legs and I has been friends for over a decade. I knew him since I was 14. We stopped talking since he graduated from sec sch and we started texting one another after my break up. He owes a decent BMW sports car and his own restaurant. I honestly feels that he likes me but you dont see me being attracted to him, based on his wealth (plus he isn’t bad looking at all). My point is.. society is f up and complicated.
[12:56 PM, 8/4/2017] Long Legs : its more of a 2 person thing la
[12:56 PM, 8/4/2017] Long Legs : u willing can liao
[12:56 PM, 8/4/2017] Long Legs : not say forced marriage or slavery
[12:56 PM, 8/4/2017] Long Legs : lol 😂
[12:57 PM, 8/4/2017] Long Legs : ure just pissed ur ex find a younger girl than u la
Well, I cannot deny I still hold some grudge (a huge grudge) over my ex’s decision dating someone way younger than him (note: this is deinitely spurred by my ex and I really have no idea will I even put the grudge down or when). But it isn’t just him. It’s majority of older guys. Why can’t they find people their own age? Long Legs argued that people in their late-twenties and above (usually those in the same age group as the guy) are usually attached or married, leaving him with no choice but to find younger girls. -.-” WHAT LOGIC!!
Whatever it is, it makes me feel sad to be a woman. So, it seems like as I grow older.. the last attractive I get.. or the lesser value I am. Am I even someone (or something) that supposed to have some kind of value on? If it is, this isn’t fair. I am a human being, so are guys. I actually thought he isn’t like any other guys.. and I guess when he ended up being the opposite of what I knew, I just couldn’t accept it. From then on, he just seems like a bad example.
I’m aware of my health condition (the fact that I am someone who may have difficulty conceiving in the future). So if Jo ends up cheating on me or choosing me over someone way younger (like the ex did), I’ll probably die. He said he wont because I’ll always be me and he’ll love me as years passes by. (Aww~ even though these are just words, i really hope it’s the truth.)
I feel pathetic right now because at the end of the day, i’m the one who will be called fugly simply because I age… simply because I turn 32 when she’ll only be 24. Sometimes I think to myself, why would this particular person’s opinion and judgement matters to me when it shouldn’t matter at all?
Somewhat feeling real giddy. Feeling horrible and at 12:43am, my bf is nowhere to be found.. making me worried sick. Our last text was at 10:05pm. tsk.
till next time.