I stayed home for most of the day because the boyfee needed to work! 4 days of not meeting felt like torture to me. & the humid hot weather just made me felt more shitty.
I only fell asleep ~4a.m last night, only to be woken up at 7am about one of my dad’s promoter unable to board the plane. Spent 1 hour arguing with the airline to no avail.. We ended up having to spend extra $300 to change the ticket.
I’ve not seen Jo for 3 days now and obviously, I’m missing him like mad. It feels as though I’ve not updated him about many things. Truth is, he’s kinda turning into my ex… who gets exhausted very easily. He tends to fall asleep once he reaches home and it doesn’t make things better when we don’t text much during the day. I really don’t hate him but I’m worried that it might have some negative effect in our relationship. The last thing I want is this relationship to have the same outcome as the last.
I think I probably update the Bali post on Mon – Wed. These days i’ve been in high spirits in a way. The heart feels a lot lighter & i’ve been playing with this particular app with new face filters. hahahaa. I’m ditching all my image to upload it on instastory and disturbing my bf with it. JUST FOR LAUGHS!
Few days back, I mentioned that one of my dad’s staff passed away. Today, my accountant decided to show me the pictures of the guy. From his body being brought to the hospital to the cremation. T.T I hate to see such pictures because it’s really weird to see someone you know to be lying dead and eventually turn to ashes. I could even saw the stitches below his chin. When I die, will i be like that? It’s seriously depressing to know that I’ll just turn to ashes eventually and disappear from this world. I’ve imagine disappearing from this world a few times, to a point my heart feels funny and I couldn’t sleep. My family are buddhists but I don’t really believe much in anything. I actually thinks that we will shut down like a broken computer that can never be fixed… and then forgotten.
So his jealousy hurt me a lot on Sunday night. Simply because of jealousy, he decided to treat me as though i was nothing to him. We met to eat Bak Ku Teh at Songfa but he suddenly just changed his mind and refused to have dinner with me. His exact words “Even if you’re free, I don’t want to have dinner with you”. -.-” I did nothing wrong, at all. I felt humiliated and hurt because just seconds ago, I ran up to him happily with a surprise back hug. Sensing that I werent happy over his pettiness, he still walked away from me and left me there.
I wasn’t told that he needed to work the whole of Saturday. I went ahead to my cousin’s bday dinner at Geylang so we couldnt meet till 9pm. Jo doesn’t like my clothing choices sometimes so he walked all over there to pick me up. We only spent 3 hours together before calling the night off. Initially I was invited to go wavehouse but since he didn’t want me to go, I just cancelled that plan off. Anyway, i fell asleep at his place and the way we end the night off felt a little distant. So I went home with a bad feeling.